Dear Long Distance Love,

Today I release you but I want to release you in the reassurance that there is love here for you. The work is in finding the form that is most suitable for you and I. I have to follow through on my word and allow you the room to grow. You are not my possession. You are free to manifest any and all of your desires. I’m not sure what is going to happen. We have talked and talked, but the resolution will be in the experience. I have mourned you already. I have allowed myself to indulge in the feeling of being without you. It was a difficult feeling, but I can survive it. I love you sincerely, but I have to accept you where you are. You need to move freely, and so do I. I can’t hold on too tight. Man you feels so good I want to just hoard you. That is completely unreasonable and unfair. Your life is for you and mine is for me, and our relationship should rest on gratitude for our shared moments not unrealistic expectations. I am optimistic and grateful. I love you with my whole heart. I’ve been here before, we’ll work out just fine.

Dear U

12 days … Ur not here yet but I’m so ready for u to leave. Ur going to be here but not with me. I haven’t contacted u. Letting u g(r)o(w). It’s been difficult but I can’t depend on u to be there for me. I’ve been on dates, kissed a couple … But I’m not feeling it. I want your lips, I want your touch, I want your attention …

Dear Long Distance,

I wish you were closer.  Sometimes words are good then they just get in the way.  Show me how you feel.

Dear Mr. Illusionary Monogamist,

You don’t have to lie or withhold information in an open relationship. I guess old habits just die hard. I don’t expect to be the only one so I’m not quite sure why you keep perpetuating that illusion.I mean aren’t we in an OPEN relationship? I suspect your male ego wants to remain open, and wants me to be closed. Sorry sport, I left those games behind when I retired my girlfriend jersey.I only give full commitment to meaningful relationships. I know that I’m a wife that’s why I can’t give in to the illusory monogamy of being your girlfriend. one who hates magic shows

Dear 34,

I love u I do … ups & downs what u say & how u act confuse the mess outta me. I read once & told u “if a guy likes u, you’ll know; if he doesn’t you’ll be confused” … U told me that was backward your quote “if a guy likes u, you’ll be confused; if he doesn’t you’ll know” … 34 I really don’t know with u. What I feel is real but I’m alone. Just tell me The Deal. It’s unfair that u know where I am but I don’t know where u r. Let me in, let me love you, let me understand you, let me lay on your chest & hear your heart beat, let me make your plate, let me massage your shoulders. I love u I don’t know how not to if I did I would have when u let me go.

My Quarterback

Last night I was remembered something one of my favorites preachers says…I don’t look for answers, I ask questions.  So I simply asked the question, why doesn’t he call and heard because he cares.  Replaying scenes in my mind, I truly saw you in a different light.  I have had so much going on in my life personally that I’m not sure that I can honestly say that I understood or respected where you really are right now in your life.  I can not begin to imagine psychologically, emotionally, and physically how you feel.  You have experienced so much change in the last two years of your life.  In the last 10 years  you have faced and walked through traumatic life experiences that some men will never encounter.  I sincerely apologize that I continued to be caught up in myself, circling about you with my picket sign “LET LOVE IN”.  How you even have the desire and will to press forward is incredibly inspiring.  So I get it now, oh, I so get it.  I understand your drive and your ambitions.  I can imagine it takes everything you have and the power of God to for you to continually chase after you dreams.  And to think I honestly kept trying to throw my mess in the mix.  It was more than it not being the right time, etc, the last thing you wanted to have to think about was one more thing pulling you in another direction.  The other day I thought dang, how about I buy a bottle of Pinot and let it tuck me in good night.   It took all that I had to not.  I forgot about how I am not the only one that small daily victories are actually great feats.  Your ability to lead the productive, beyond “hard working” lifestyle exhibits strength I can not describe. I’m so about awareness of myself, that I have never been able to appreciate the man you are by understanding your daily victories and how your actions overshadow what you aren’t saying.  You are one of the greatest friends I’ve known.  Yes honey, the world is your stage.  Live another day!

Team R-

Dear Cougar Cub,

You make me feel so young. I like our long walks, the way you feed me fresh fruit and tall glasses of cool water. I even like riding the bus with you despite my uberbourgie sensibility. I don’t care that you don’t have a car. You are so sweet. I smile at night as I snuggle under the covers to talk to you at 1am. Just like in high school. What would I do without you? You keep me abreast on all the new hot underground rappers and the World Cup. You inspire me to get fancy on Twitter and Facebook. When you talk that new slang to me, I just about loose my mind. But the best part is how you treat me like lady. Your manners and charm are straight from the old school baby. I think I love you Cougar Cub! Come to momma! I’ll take care of you! (Not financially though)